Fodderator Info » Living With Relationships

An Apple on Your Head, Relationship Physics

admin — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 16:03:16 +0000

Attempts to describe the differences and similarities of men and women have been made by philosophers, church leaders, and day-time TV. All have failed.

Our ancestors lived in trees, then we evolved. Sort of. After centuries of development men still tend to hunt and gather. Men still consider their role to be the provider, to bring home the clubbed furry thing for lunch. Do women still select their mate for his physical prowess? “Him big, make good hunter.”

Women still tend to nurture and play their supportive role in our homes made of sticks and stone. It is women who have this unique ability to bear more hunters. It is women who still prepare the dead furry thing by combining it with organic matter plucked form the earth. Do men select their women based on physical child bearing attributes? “Big things, make good mother.”

Anthropologists have offered indisputable scientific proof that men and women are different, and have evolved according to some kind of physical law and cultural rule. They tell us men and women have behaved much the same since the beginning. So by now we should have it all figured out. Men and women should live in their cave and form a bond, based on their primitive need to please the other and to protect their symbiotic relationship.

If it were so, then how do we account for the divorce rate? How do we account for the thousands of unhappy marriages? Sir Isaac Newton, a 17th Century scientist, might explain it using his laws of physics.

1. “An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.”

Soccer mom drives the SUV from field to field and will continue to do so unless she is interrupted by a stationary object called a post. Cooking and cleaning mom tends to continue cooking and cleaning unless she has to rush to aerobics class, or pick up the kids.

Working man tends to stay at work unless he is interrupted with a request to show up before the diner is cold, and bring home a loaf of bread. TV man tends to stay at rest unless the game is over and has to use the sandbox, or is out of beer, or both.

2. “The acceleration of an object as produced by a net force is directly proportional to the magnitude of the net force, in the same direction as the net force, and inversely proportional to the mass of the object.”

Most people think of this as dropping bricks and feathers from tall buildings. It’s really a reference to the relationship habits of man and woman. See, back in the 17th century, and anthropologists will agree, women were considered to be objects, and men were the force.

If you read the 2nd law again it would be:

She moves faster to her mother or to her lover when he pushes her harder. Or, he pushes her by doing nothing at all, especially around the house on weekends when he claims that he needs to rest so he can continue to work and earn money so she can have the SUV to take the kids to soccer and ballet and swimming and rush home to cook and finish the laundry and be ready for sex when he is finished playing on the computer and gets an erection.

3. “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

This simple writer firmly believes and affirms that Sir Isaac’s third law explains just about every relationship thing between man and woman.

This physics law, this law of nature, this universal man-woman law, explains what is going to happen to him when he forgets her birthday. It also explains why she get’s him exactly the right colour cover for his golf clubs, or the right size shirt with the button down collar that goes with his pants that she gave him last month.

The third law also explains why she reacts the way she does when he brings her flowers. Or phones her when he will be late. Or doesn’t forget her birthday. Or takes her to dinner, or takes the kids to soccer so she can have a rest. Or gives her a hug. Or stops what he is doing, or not doing, and simply listens to her.

Or says, “I love you” and means it.

The published author is a sailor and divorce consultant. You may find him and related Canadian divorce and separation material at www.candivorce.ca

Divorce–Negotiating Agreement: Ten Steps

admin — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 14:28:19 +0000

The best predictor of a good divorce outcome is the degree of client control over the negotiation–everything works much better if you have it. This doesn’t mean you should not get help and advice from an attorney if you want it; it means you are better off if you plan to do most or all of the negotiating yourself.

Studies indicate that clients feel their attorneys don’t actually give them much help or guidance anyway. In a 1976 Connecticut study, nearly half of those interviewed reported no more than three contacts with their attorney, including phone calls, while 60% said they had worked out all issues without attorney help.

A New Jersey study in 1984 considered only cases with children where both spouses had attorneys. Fewer than 20% felt their lawyers had played a major role in settlement negotiations.

So, you see, you are likely to end up dealing with the negotiation anyway and there is strong evidence that you are far better off if you do. You get a higher degree of compliance with terms of agreement, a much lower chance for future courtroom conflict, co-parenting is smoother, support payments are more likely to be made in full and on time, and you get on with your life more quickly.

Don’t expect negotiating with a spouse to be easy. There are lots of built-in difficulties–so many that you may want professional help from a good mediator. But, okay, so there are problems–that’s nothing new in the world of divorce. Let’s look at exactly what you can do about it. Here are ten steps you can take to make your negotiations work:

1. Be businesslike:

Keep business and personal matters separate. You can talk about personal matters any time, but never discuss business without an appointment and an agenda. This is so you can both be prepared and composed.

Act businesslike: be on time and dress for business. Don’t socialize and don’t drink; it impairs your judgment.

Be polite and insist on reasonable manners in return. If things start to sneak into the personal or become unbusinesslike, say you’re going to stop if the meeting doesn’t get back on track. Ask to set another date. If matters don’t improve, don’t argue, don’t get mad, just get up and go.

2. Meet on neutral ground: Find a neutral place to meet, not the home or office of either spouse where there could be too many reminders, memories, personal triggers. Or the visiting spouse could feel at some disadvantage and the home spouse can’t get up and go if things get out of hand. Try a restaurant, the park, borrow a meeting space or rent one if necessary.

3. Be prepared: Get control of the facts of your own divorce; understand how the laws of your state apply to the facts; find out the probable outcomes under the law; clarify your goals. You can also prepare by trying to understand your respective emotions and past patterns. Just the fact that you are trying to do this will help make things a little better.

4. Balance the negotiating power:

If you feel insecure, become informed, be well prepared, use an agenda, get expert advice and guidance. There’s never any need to respond on the spot: state your ideas, listen to your spouse, then think about it until the next meeting. Don’t meet if you are not calm; if the meeting doesn’t stay businesslike, don’t continue. If this happens often, consider using a professional mediator.

If you are the stronger spouse, help build your spouse’s confidence so he or she can negotiate competently and make sound decisions. And listen, listen, listen.

5. Build agreement:

Start with the facts: You should by now have gathered and exchanged all information. If not, complete the information gathering (see Step 6 of my article “Divorce–Overcoming Obstacles to
Agreement”), then try to agree on what the facts are. Write down the facts you agree on and list exactly what facts you do not agree on. Note any competing versions then do research to resolve the difference by research and exchanging records. Compromise. If you can’t prove some fact to each other, you may have a hard time proving it in court.

Make a list of the issues and decisions you can agree on. Write them down. This is how you build a foundation for agreement and begin to clarify the major issues between you.

Next, write down the things you don’t agree on. Always keep trying to refine your differences–to make them more and more clear and precise. Try to break differences down into digestible, bite-sized pieces.

6. Consider the needs and interests of both spouses: Avoid taking a position. Consider your needs, interests and concerns alongside the facts of your situation. Work together on brainstorming and problem-solving; look for ways to satisfy needs and interests of both spouses and try to balance the sacrifices.

7. State issues in a constructive way: “Reframing” is when you restate things in a more neutral way, to encourage communication and understanding.

For example: One spouse says, “I have to keep the house.” Reframe: “What I would like most is to keep the house, that’s my first priority, because . . . What the house means to me is . . .”

8. Get legal advice: Typically, legal questions come up as you negotiate. Get advice; find out if the laws of your state provide a clear, predictable outcome on your particular issue. Don’t hesitate to get more than one opinion.

9. Be patient and persistent: Don’t rush, don’t be in a hurry. Divorces take time and negotiation takes time.

Whenever someone hears a new idea, it takes time to percolate. It takes time for people to change their minds. It may take time to shift your mutual orientation from combative to competitive to cooperative. So don’t just do something; stand there! A slow, gradual approach takes pressure off and allows emotions to cool.

10. Get help: Negotiating with your spouse may not be easy; you’re dealing with old habits, raw wounds, entrenched personality patterns–all the obstacles to agreement all at once. A third person can really help keep things in focus.

Mediators are professionals who are specially trained to help you negotiate; they are expert at helping couples get unblocked and into an agreement. Mediation is very effective and it usually goes quickly.

Before you begin to negotiate, get a copy of Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Divorce Better (the book from which this article was excerpted) for you and your spouse. Then, if possible, discuss parts of it together.

There are many good books about negotiation, but one of the best and easiest to read is the little (150-page) Penguin paperback by Fisher and Ury, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, available at www.divorcehelp.com, along with other recommended books and software.

Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman

Ed Sherman is a family law attorney, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo Press. He started the self-help law movement in 1971 when he published the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce, and founded the paralegal industry in 1973. With more than a million books sold, Ed has saved the public billions of dollars in legal fees while making divorce go more smoothly and easily for millions of readers. You can order his books from http://www.nolodivorce.com or by calling (800) 464-5502.

Pros and Cons of Having a Relationship with Cougar Women

admin — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 11:07:25 +0000

Are you one of the randy young guys that fancy dating a cougar woman? If you are wondering whether going out with a cougar is the right choice for you, spend some time reading over the benefits of dating a cougar.

Cougars know what they need in the bedroom and in their relationships. The good thing about this is that you can learn from them and use this knowledge to gratify women in the future.

Cougars are confident and tell you exactly what they need. This alleviates a lot of the guessing work for the cub and it will transform the relationship into a more heated one.

Cougar women got their name for the technique they use to forcefully pursue their prey . This means you will be aware when a cougar is giving attention to you and you will not have to be careful around her. You will therefore avoid all the unnecessary drama.

The term cougar woman at the moment also means a person who is strong, independent, self-assured and individual and this might be the exact type of woman you would like to go out with.

Cougars ordinarily have more money than younger girls do, and this means that you will often be well looked after and be able to go on more lavish dates or to hotels that you couldn’t dream of previously.

If you are a young guy you should really try hooking up with a cougar woman. You will probably have one of the most amazing relationships of your life. Cougar relationships are fun and care-free and self-assured cougar women are fantastic to be around.

Investigate Your Cheating Spouse – Benefits of Using a Casebook

admin — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:18:41 +0000

A cheating spouse thinks and lives on a completely different wavelength than the Victim. In most cases, to the cheater a “little” affair is thrilling, it’s deserved and it’s not a big deal. Of course the cheater would never consult you to confirm that. “It didn’t mean anything,” says the cheater many times as if you, the victim, should accept this qualifier as some sort of consolation. If you suspect your spouse is cheating, time is critical. You need evidence and you need it fast!

Scenario 1:

John Smith begins having an affair with the boss of his wife, Sally Smith. The Boss takes out and pays for a new insurance policy on Sally’s life, because Sally is a key person. Sally or John signs the paperwork for his wife making the Boss beneficiary. The affair goes on for a year to no one’s notice. Then into the second year Sally learns of the affair and the Cheater and the Boss slowly drive Sally to suicide. The 2 year elimination period for suicide on the policy has expired and the policy pays the Boss $1.0 M. It happens.

At $65-95/hr, hiring a private investigator can be expensive! However, fact is, many times the Victim knows in their gut that an affair is happening to them. And with some assistance, they can be very effective in gathering clues and confirming the affair of their own volition. They know their spouse is seeing someone; they just can’t prove it. They don’t know what to do. They don’t have the investgative know-how or skills or tools or confidence. And more importantly, they don’t know what NOT to do to preserve the prospect of building a case of infidelity. And even if the Victim does stumble onto some how-to PI tricks to gather some evidence, they often blow their chances to use it due to expoliation of evidence, interrupted Chain of Custody or some other legal technicality.

So, what can a manual like SnoopFile’s Cheating Spouse Casebook do for a Victim of infidelity? Coaching. A victim spouse needs some sort of step by step assistance through the logical steps of “conducting their own” Investigation. The following are a few essential steps utilized by a trained private investigator:

1. Clarify the GOAL. Ninety percent of a Victim’s heartache can be alleviated with a clear focus and adherance to an objective. If based on probable cause and probable outcomes, you opt for a frontal approach – a forthright talk with your spouse – then clarify the possible outcomes. Write them down. Realistically define a “successful talk”. If you opt to investigate, then clarify your steps using a Investigator’s Casebook, for the self-destructive nature of feelings will otherwise undermind your investigative efforts.

2. Quickly confirm – Is he cheating? An investigation is a systematic inquiry into the facts of an event or a person. A casebook can help you systematically get answers to your questions quickly, so you can begin plotting your course to resolution. You may have already accused your spouse. And he has discounted and brushed aside the charges leaving you hurt and still uncertain. SnoopFile’s Casebook equips you with a guide through a step-by-step process of gathering clues and building a timeline. At the conclusion of this process, you will quickly confirm facts and have your PROBABLE CAUSE and reason to investigate further.

3. Confirmed. Now what? Once you have a collection of clues, then you have probable cause. Now, it’s time to decide what course your will take. A naval ship-driver calls this a “biforcation”. And a biforcation bouy gives you some idea of which track a pilot officer should take. You will not have any bouys except for your heart. You may need a coach to help guide you through a protocol of questions about your husband, yourself and your personal or economic situation. Having answered these questions, you will KNOW the logical or reasonable thing to do. And you will choose your track.

4. The Steps of Building a Case. Investigation is a very simple process, but it requires tools, a little discipline, and a few tricks. A manual like SnoopFile’s will COACH you through the uncertainties based on investigative algorithms, experience tools and knowledge of human nature. Sometimes in such an ordeal, we simply need EMPOWERMENT with tools for gathering evidence, PI tricks of the trade to outsmart and stay ahead of a possible Cheater.

5. The Law and Privacy Rules. Every investigation should be carried out in a manner, such that its findings and evidence are acceptable in a court of law. And that case evidence will be direct and subtantive (prima facia = able to stand on its own) evidence, rather than indirect or circumstantial. Don’t worry. There are only a few simple concepts you must understand as you investigate. There are a few Privacy Rules and Rules of Law pertaining to investigation which we will show you to help ensure your investigation is legal and your evidence is acceptable in a court of law – in case it ends up there. An investigations manual such as Snoopfile’s Casebook would equip a Victim with “navigational” aids through these general concepts of the Law!

6. Rules of Evidence. First, you may be right about your suspicions, but there’s not much a judge can do about your testimony without corroborating evidence. The fact that you saw them kiss with your own eyes will be predjudiced by your relationship to the Cheater. Likewise, there’s nothing worse than obtaining that juicy piece evidence – a video clip, an incriminating email or a receipt – only to find out that you violated the Cheater’s right to privacy. Violate Privacy Rights and I promise you any half-motivated attorney will have the evidence declared inadmissable. Or worse, you failed to control and properly handle the piece of evidence and so document it’s Chain of Custody.

7. Where to Look for Evidence. A good Casebook like Snoopfile’s discusses the WHAT and WHERE of evidence collecting in great detail. Now, as you uncover and examine some of these clues, it’s important to be able to detach yourself from the relationship. This takes practice and a little redirection from time to time.

CAUTION!

People are arrogant creatures, myself included. We ask for advice only to discount it. We ask for help, only to skip over steps which we don’t believe are important. Don’t do this. Don’t be arrogant. Steps in an investigation may seem simplistic or elementary, (Dear Watson). But this is where investigators go badly wrong. Step back! Being a good investigator is being disciplined – methodical. If you don’t want to be that – then you get to pay $65/hour, $2,500 per week to hire a private investigator. Got your attention?

So, let’s put on the Private Investigator hat. To whet your appetite, here’s a short list:

INDICATORS

- dieting out of the blue; obvious weight loss

- poorly conditioned, yet now “pumping iron” all of a sudden

- mood changes accompanied by irritability

- happy to be alone or happy away from you

- large unexplained vehicle odometer reading changes

- (for more, refer to a good Cheating Spouse Casebook).

Chuck is an ex-Naval officer with combined 16 years of military, commercial and domestic investigative experience. He is a licensed Private Investigator, who received training under Larry Davis, who is rated among the nations top 10 Private Investigators and Protection Specialists.

As Certified Fraud Examiner, Chuck is trained in analysis of dishonest behavior, speech and body language indicators. He is the owner and Director of Ops for http://www.SnoopFile.com where you may find Snoopfile’s Cheating Spouse Casebook.

Why Getting Married Abroad Is The Best Solution!

admin — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 13:34:20 +0000

As a girl, I always dreamed of a church wedding in the rolling hills of the Kentish countryside somewhere. When my big day came, I never dreamed that I would be one of those modern brides who would jet off for sunny climes and marry with the sand between my toes. It just goes to show how wrong a girl can be!

Let me tell you what lead to us tying the knot overseas.

You only have to mention the word ‘wedding’ to any UK business and the quote is doubled; I think they must be in on it along with plumbers! Photographers, venues and caterers know that brides don’t want to make cut backs in any of these areas and will pay over the odds for their services. This doesn’t make sense to me at all. It’s the same with travel companies – flights increase in price during school holidays when demand is high. Surely simple supply and demand economics tell us that prices should be lowered at these times because the business is guaranteed?

Apparently not! With wedding service providers, you need to book them years in advance! I mean, that’s ridiculous. And why do people assume that because you want to tie the knot, you’re suddenly rich?!

After being told “there’s a 3 year waiting list” at every feasible wedding location in the area, we decided to get the holiday brochures out and look at honeymoon destinations to cheer ourselves up. It was here that the idea of combining honeymoon with wedding was suggested. We toyed with it for a while and gradually began to come round to the idea. Of course, it was my fiance who was most keen to do it and initially I wasn’t so sure. I was worried that it wouldn’t be special or magical enough for me. My only stipulations were that immediate family would have to be there and the service would be on terra firma so that my Jimmy Choo heels wouldn’t sink in the sand!

In a flash of madness, we found somewhere that we agreed on and just booked it! Everything from there on in, was so easy. We were assigned a wedding co-ordinator who explained that plans for the actual wedding and ceremony didn’t need to be settled until 6 weeks before the flight! What? Six weeks? Not six months or six years?

Of course, my dress needed to be travel-friendly. This didn’t stop me though – I still wore a meringue! The travel company took great care of it and even though our destination was hot, any creases dropped out within 10 minutes of hanging it up.

Upon our arrival we met with the wedding co-ordinator. Over a glass of champagne and overlooking a sun-kissed sea, we discussed venue, type of vows, music in the service, bridal party make-up and hair, did we want anything dry-cleaned, what bouquet would I like, whether we’d like a fruit or sponge wedding cake, did I have any favours for place settings, would we like the service put on a DVD as well as 120 photographs taken and so on. All the things that other brides spend 18 months organizing, we had done it in a hour with a bottle of champagne!

Our wedding day was the most beautiful day of our lives. Everyone watched us walk past them on the beach and they all cheered and waved. Sometimes couples are married in the UK like battery hens but we were treated like royalty and for a fraction of the price of a UK wedding!

I can’t recommend it enough and I still got my fairytale wedding, in my fairytale dress and in a beautiful setting. I would do it exactly the same all over again.

This article is brought to you by “World of Wedding Favours” – Offering brides high quality wedding favours and bomboniere at low-cost prices. To view our vast range of wedding favours to suit your special occasion please visit: http://www.World-of-Wedding-Favours.com

Choosing the Wedding Dress – Don’t Look Like a Clown in Your Gown

admin — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 10:38:14 +0000

Moments that highlight many a wedding day is to suffer from nerves. This is not unusual due to the fact that this is the one day in your life when all eyes are upon you. It is the bride that will always will be the centre of attention at the wedding and why not with all the effort put into looking fabulous. Nerves affect many brides mainly due to worry of everything going according to plan. Well if you have planned your wedding day with careful thought then you need not worry.

Before the mention of accessories lets talk on the item we would like to accessorize and that is the wedding gown. Choosing your wedding dress without doubt has to be wonderful experience with so many stunning designs and styles to choose from. We now need to highlight areas that need to be considered when selecting what is going to be the perfect wedding dress.

What you have to keep in mind when choosing your gown, wrong choice – wrong image – wrong you. Different gown styles are not particularly designed with you in mind so all that glitters is not gold meaning, no matter how glamorous some of the gowns are does not mean it is going to be the ideal wedding dress for you. Your shape figure height are important issues that need to be looked into before committing to buy. Take along a member of family or friend to help you pick the dress that will give you the perfect look.

If the wedding dress you see adorned on the mannequin/dummy standing in the bridal shop window catches your eye do not act on impulse. Just because it looks great on the dummy does not necessarily mean it will on you. We can not have you looking like a clown in your gown.

Can dreams come true, yes. You will go to the ball Cinderella. Fairy godmothers do exist armed with needle and cotton to conjure up the dress you may have always dreamed of wearing? All you have to do is to provide the details of the fabric colour and style you would like and with her magic needle you get to walk down the aisle where your prince charming awaits in the gown of your dreams. A good thing by having your wedding dress tailor made is because any alterations to meet the requirements of your comfort level can be done at your own leisure. The seamstress can advise you on certain materials and fabric for your wedding gown.

White/ivory/ beige are favoured colours for a wedding dress. Accessories protrude an air of elegance when worn up against these shades. Neutral/pastel colours are so easy to coordinate with the bridesmaids attire.

Looking through magazines to gather ideas will keep you updated with all the wedding fashion gossip.

No bridal gown on a dummy will ever look as good as the real thing nor do the get to walk down the aisle. So there you have it, choosing the ideal dress you have perfection. Now go knock them dead because today the worlds your (oyster) another lovely shade for the gown.

After hours of research I found this fabulous site and hey what do you know everything you could possibly need is all here to make your wedding day special..Well worth a visit dont just take my word for it http://www.your-wedding-planning-help.com.

Don’t Be Surprised to See Cupcake-like Wedding Favors at the Next Reception You Attend

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:11:36 +0000

The wedding cake has sometimes been referred to as the most important purchase when planning a wedding or a wedding reception. Many couples are willing to spend big bucks on the cake because every guest at the reception will undoubtedly stop by the cake table to admire the details and creativity of the cake chosen. But for some guests, who may not be able to attend the reception or who may need to leave before the cake cutting, there are new options available. One such option offered by some bakeries is the availability of miniature cakes or cupcakes decorated to match or coordinate with a full sized cake.

Depending on the extravagance of the wedding or the size of the guest list, the bride and groom-to-be may choose to purchase a full size multi-tiered cake decorated to their liking, and provide a handful of the take home sizes to be packaged for those leaving early; or decorate each table with several of the miniature cakes of different flavors or decoration patterns. Another option for those without a constricting budget is to purchase the miniature cakes for each and every guest scheduled to be at the wedding reception. For this option the official wedding cake would not need to be full-sized. It only needs a layer cake for cake-cutting pictures and if desired, a layer cake to be frozen for the one year anniversary.

Cake decorating has come a long way with trends like this one and with decoration ideas available. The sky is the limit for creative ideas available and flavors or colors used for the feature cake and now for its miniature counterparts

The Numerous Different Kinds Of Wedding Invitations

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:05:14 +0000

There are many different kinds of wedding invitations out there, but destination wedding invitations are among the most coveted and the most popular.

After all, what wedding guest would not love to combine a great vacation in a tropical paradise with the wedding of a close friend or family member? For a number of years now, destination weddings have been all the rage, and it is easy to see why.

Mailing The Invitations Out In Plenty Of Time

In fact, receiving destination wedding invitations is a mark of honor, since the majority of destination weddings are limited to only the closest family members and friends.

Getting such an invitation is an honor, and it is important for the planer of the wedding to get those invitations out in plenty of time.

In fact, more time must be allowed when it comes to destination wedding invitations than with normal weddings and traditional wedding invitations.

That is because you will be asking your guests and members of the wedding party not only to show up at your wedding but also to travel hundreds, or perhaps thousands of miles away.

This means they will have to book hotel rooms, book flights and of course schedule time away from work. So be sure to allow plenty of time for your destination wedding invitations to be addressed, received and responded to.

There Are Many Places To Have Your Destination Wedding

There are of course many destinations that are popular for destination weddings, and in many cases the couple will choose a location that is special to them.

Many couples will hold their special wedding on the beach where they first vacationed, or in a resort that holds special significance. From Fiji to Florida, from the Bahamas to Bermuda, there are nearly as many possibilities as there are brides and grooms.

Making Your Destination Wedding Invitations More Special

Since destination weddings are so special, it makes sense to make the destination wedding invitations extra special as well.

One great idea is to order lots of postcards from the resort hosting the wedding, and to include a postcard in with each invitation packet.

Not only will the postcard be a treasured keepsake, but it will give your guests an idea of what they can expect when they arrive.

Things You Will Need To Include In The Invitations

It is also important to include airport information, transportation arrangements and directions to the wedding in with the destination wedding invitations, as well as instructions for booking the block of hotel rooms you have reserved.

Most destination resorts will provide members of the wedding party, and perhaps guests, as well, with special room rates, and it is important that the destination wedding invitations provide details on how to take advantage of any such discounts.

Shaunta Pleasant is a professional writer and editor on wedding topics. Visit my site to learn more about planning the perfect wedding at
http://www.best-wedding-plan.com/destination_wedding_invitations.html

Looking to the Past for the Engagement of Today

admin — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 03:45:25 +0000

There is an expression: everything old is new again. At one point in our modern history we valued everything new and shiny as it represented our technological progress. Now, the tendency is to look into the past and the wonderful treasures hidden there. These trends become evident and more prevalent based of the choice made by celebrities.

Madonna chose an Edwardian engagement ring and Catherine Zeta-Jones was engaged to Michael Douglas with am antique-styled ten carat diamond ring. In fact Edwardian engagement rings are one of the “hottest” trends of the last 20 years. So a woman today can be both trend-setting and nostalgic in one move: her choice of an engagement ring!

Edwardian engagement ring is remarkable works of art. The lacy filigreed settings display a choice of warm gems: sapphires, pearls, emeralds, rubies. This startlingly beautiful combination appeals to the imagination of many of modern brides who enjoy the antique and the unusual. These antique Edwardian engagement rings whisper of elegant and romantic days of long ago. In addition, antique Edwardian engagement rings offer an exceptional quality of materials and workmanship.

The Edwardian engagement rings available today are for the most part, from the first half of the twentieth century. White gold and platinum filigree rings were popular from the turn of the century through the twenties when the intricacies of the metal work was loved by Edwardian era ladies and still appeals for women today.

Edwardian engagement rings were often yellow or white gold, sometimes both in combination. Small diamonds, other gems adorned these setting that were often shaped in delightful hearts, flowers and leaves. The result was a ring of exquisite beauty and romantic fantasy.

Authentic antique Edwardian rings are available from a number of sources: jewelry stores that feature antiques; websites and traditional jewelry stores. A good antique ring can range from $2000 -$10,000. However there is also a chance that your great-grandmothers Edwardian engagement ring is sitting unrecognized in a jewelry box somewhere. Ask your older relative about wedding jewelry. Peruse old family photos and see if you can spot any antique jewelry or engagement rings. Maybe they are still around. You may even strike it lucky in a regular consignment or second hand store, but this opportunity is diminishing as the value of an Edwardian engagement rink becomes more recognizable.

An Edwardian engagement ring, like any antique, is a special responsibility because in addition to symbolizing your commitment as a couple, it is also part of history. Another bride has worn it before you. Antique jewelry does require special attention, maintenance and cleaning. It cannot take the rough and tumble of dishwashing, accidental trips in pockets through washing machines or a day of painting. You need to remove your ring and keep it is a safe place, preferably a cloth ring box in a special area.

If you like the beauty of a an Edwardian engagement ring, but feel that you need the durability of modern technology, then a antique styled Edwardian engagement ring may be the best of both worlds for you.. If you do get something ornately filigreed, make sure you avoid catching it on things, and keep it clean of clay, mud, cookie dough or any other residues of modern life!

So even if you live the life of a modern gal, you can enjoy the whisper of past romanticism that comes from the antique Edwardian engagement rings or styled ring on your finger!

Valeria Vegas has a Masters degree in Writing and regularly writes for a local newspaper. She also teaches writing workshops in San Francisco and has taught high school English. As a freelance job, she corrects essays for the SAT and ACT through Pearson scoring as well as write copy for websites. She is the Associate Editor of a literary magazine, edit manuscripts for Behler publications, and works for authors independently. One of her stories was named Notable Story of 2004 by Million Writers. She is a regular contributor to http://www.Engagement-Rings-n-Wedding-Rings.com

Catering to Your Wedding

admin — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:35:32 +0000

Wedding catering has always been one of the most crucial aspects of planning a wedding. Besides choosing the food menu items for the palette, you also need to think of other factors – could there be potential allergies to certain types of wedding food, will the food arrive on time, and will it taste great? For all these reasons and more, it is very important that you take the time to review the details of providing great cuisine through a responsible and reliable wedding caterer. Ideally, you will find someone who has experience in catering wedding receptions, rehearsal dinners, theme weddings and bridal showers. If the caterer is a custom designer, baker or Chef, they might also help you plan your stunning wedding cake or cake tops. Here are some tips we have found that might help make planning your wedding catering easier than you might think:

1. Meet the Caterer(s) in person with questions.

Many local wedding florists, planners and coordinators know the industry well. Ask them about potential caterers for your event. If you contact a caterer, ask to meet with him or her in person. You will want them to provide references in terms of their abilities and experience. Make you sure you also contact the BBB (Better Business Bureau, bbb.org) to see if they are listed there or are in good standing. Ask your potential caterer about the largest number of guests they can handle and when their last wedding catering took place. Other important details are whether they are insured, have health permits, and whether they are licensed. Without a health permit a caterer cannot provide your wedding food needs.

2. Check to see if a Caterer is included in your wedding package.

Many couples choose to have a destination wedding and find that special place to hold their wedding ceremony and reception. If this is in your plans make sure you check that catering is not included in a wedding package if you chose one. If catering is included, make sure you still ask the appropriate questions.

3. Tasting

Ask about food tasting. Many caterers will allow a tasting in advance of the wedding so that you can choose cuisine that meets your needs. Some charge a fee for this, while others don’t allow it at all. Use discretion, and if possible, ask about bringing others to the tasting.

4. Write up a well-detailed contract

A business contract is always necessary in any business transactions and catering is no exception. The contract can be written and signed by you, the contractor and a witness (if possible your fiancé or friend) and should include even the smallest of details to ensure there are no misunderstanding as to what is expected by both yourself and the caterer. Assume you will need to put down a deposit.

5. Wedding catering menu ingredients

Ask about the ingredients used in preparing your meal. Are the ingredients high quality, does the caterer bake in-house or order out (especially for bakery and dessert items)? All of this will play a role in pricing out the ultimate professional caterer for your wedding.

6. Inquire about the cancellation policy

Always inquire about the cancellation policy. Read the fine lines in any contract as there may be stiff penalties / taxes involved if you need to change your event date or cancel altogether.

Another suggestion is to put some thought into a backup plan. Although it’s rare and highly unlikely a wedding caterer or catering company would leave you high and dry, stranger things have happened.

In the end, your choice of wedding cuisine should match you and your fiancés personal preference and style. By planning your wedding catering thoroughly and wisely months in advance, one of the most important aspects of you wedding will be thoroughly enjoyed by all. Bon appetite!

Catering to Your Wedding
By Jen Carter

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Jen Carter is team member and writer for My Wedding Blog, a wedding and bridal articles and planning guide. Complete with a wedding directory, and resource links to shopping, gifts, favors and accessories.

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